Women blog

Tuesday, September 08, 2009

Storage Smile's

A week ago I gave up my packed storage unit for a few bones.
Days following were hard for me; I began to see some personal belongings showing up on craigslist.
For several days I felt anxious and uncertain about this decision.
“what if” moments crept into my thoughts.
What if I left something behind that I wish I would not have?”
“What if something was worth a lot of money?”
“What if…this and what if that?”
You know what? There are no more “What ifs”.
By unloading twenty years of my past I am now at a point where I feel anything is possible.
Starting over is not easy after divorce. It has taken me two years to finally feel free and to embrace the beauty and magic of letting go of my past while at the same time starting my life over from scratch.
Not knowing what is going to happen next. Not owning a home or material possessions. Not knowing how I will survive financially next month. Not knowing what job interview will be “the one”…
For some odd reason, I’m ok with all the not knowing-
What I know for sure is so much more pungent- Like the stench of Limburger cheese.
I know by the smell of it that it will taste horrible, but there is excitement in finding out, my curiosity with not knowing forces me to sink in and see for myself.
There is something hidden under that wrapper, something that I have never before experienced, and no matter how bad it stinks I will live to tell about it.
So I take the plunge, let go of my fears and to my surprise I find that I have more experience, more wisdom, and more lessons in my life than ever before-
I’m indeed living to tell about it, and it’s pungently priceless… a taste of emotional freedom.
Heavy burdens lifted, my present moment is not getting to the finish line, and I have nothing holding me back anymore.
All I have now is an overwhelming sense of how exciting it is to not know, and leave it at that!

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