Women blog

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Storage Tears

I'm expecting a call any minute now. Someone who will throw me a few bones for the contents of my storage unit. Less than 24 hours ago I went through my stuff, and made sure to grab any thing that could be read by strangers. I left the china that had sentimental value. The crystal given as wedding gifts. China my dad gave me. Lastly, if they could speak what stories they would tell: My infamous costumes worn back in the day on public television.

It was my dream back then to store my costumes, for one day I knew I would have a daughter who would play dress up in them, and later wear them for Halloween parties.

But, I learned just over a year ago that material possessions can be taken away from you and it is better to not have emotional attachments to "things". Easier said than done. But I am following through with it.

Goodbye to my past- no more emotional ties to you- someone else can pick you up, dust you off and make a buck or a new memory off you.

I'm looking forward now. In this present moment I have no way of keeping you safe, I can't take care of you properly, I am not a good owner for you material possessions.

Good bye to my storage unit neighbor. How you manage to hold on to your treasures for almost ten years now at $100.00 a month, I am a bit envious- but I still question what could possibly be so valuable to keep it locked up somewhere and hidden in a box all these years.

As for me, all I want to keep are the secrets I wrote down in countless journals, and the evidence in old photographs that captured a young women who never imagined a day like this would come.

The last "possession" that will continue on with me in the present is my friendly childhood doll. She is torn, worn, and battered but filled with hours of imagination and emotional relief when I was growing up.

She was a lot like me, one of a kind....Smurfette.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

What is Put Pocketing?

Want to know what Put-Pocketing is?..... It's the opposite of pick pocketing and is happening in one lucky city right now as I type.... More here: http://www.ypsigirl.com/2009/08/put-pocketing-instead-of-pick-pocketing.html

Monday, August 24, 2009

Craigslist Barter ad: My storage unit for what ever.

Treasures for what-ever...

If I don't have anything I don't have anything to worry about.

After all most getting evicted from my storage unit, I had to make a decision if it is worth the $100.00 a month to store my personal treasures.

I took a long look at my things in the unit, started to put aside a few items I just couldn't part with. To my surprise the things that nobody else would want or pay for were the things I knew I could not part with.

So with this insight I took a drastic measure and posted my storage unit on craigslist.
I have to be out of the unit before September 6, 2009-

I have been keeping a storage unit for too long in hopes that I would either have a home to move into or a retro/thrift shop on mich ave in ypsilanti.

Maybe my luck will change if I just get rid of it all.

Many cool things, fancy things, retro and vintage items, clothes, and some junk.

It would be nice if the bidder would return any personal items found- ie: pic's, journals, baby memories.

Highest Bidder will win and must clear out the unit on Sunday, August 30, 2009

Some items in the unit include:

Wedding gifts from two marriages:
Crystal glasses and such-
Grandmas working sewing machine-
Americana t.v. dinner trays-
Bikes in need of repair-
Brand new work lights-
Business supplies-
2 working air conditioners-
2 NEW shop light kits-
Various Furniture-
Baby items-toys-etc...
Kitchen appliances-
Camping supplies and nice family tent-
Retro Clothes- Sexy Costumes & props used for a local T.V. show from the nighties-
Lots of retro and old time music: Records, tapes, and C.D's-
VHS movies-
Crafting supplies-
Lots of Books: woman's studies, business, lesbian genre, sexuality, self help, metaphysical-
Various house hold items-

the lock to the unit-
....much much more.... Winning Bidder Must take EVERY Thing.

I will post more pictures of stuff in the unit through out the week.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

The LUCKY Dream...

Created by OnePlusYou

This morning I woke up from a dream- not your ordinary sort of dream- it was a prolific, subconscious-secret message in a bottle genus type of dream! The dream had a seriously strong emotion attached to it. Telling me in words, visuals, thoughts and feeling that... "You are LUCKY Tanya!" It did not end there, it pushed my sorry sleepy butt out of bed and forced me to take up a new 30 day personal growth challenge-

My 30 day trial challenge is this: Each and Every day for the next 30 days I will proclaim and exclaim as soon as I wake up and just before I fall a sleep that, "I am Lucky!"

Come September 19, 2009 my challenge will be over... who knows what will transpire between now and then. All I know for sure is that this is a 30 day trial I for sure can stick to and not fail with.

How did I get to this morning's blog post you might ask...
Yesterday, I Googled  "How to become a successful blogger"...

I stumbled across Problogger Darren Rouse- author of a post titled: "How to be Lucky"-

It is a fascinating and motivating article packed with 13 key factors Darren, a seriously super-blogger success story has learned along the way.
After leaving his "lucky" post I stumbled across a fascinating young blogger the same age as my son! Over at: http://www.aboundlessworld.com
Bud Hennekes, is the creator of this inspiring Blog.

It is fantastic to see young people on the same highway I'm taking:
The Self Enlightenment Entrance Ramp!

Bud's post titled:
30 Day Trial: Experience The Best You
At first glance, cynical Tanya laughed about actually following through with a new 30 day trial.
However, I read and re-read his post.

I must confess, this young man-child blogger personally had me at: "Make a quantum leap"

An excerpt...
If you wish to make a quantum leap in a particular area of your life, I highly suggest experimenting with a 30 day trial of your choosing. That is, for 30 days, do one or two activities everyday without fail.
I thought back to how I had tried to do something like this with my Law of Attraction 30 day challenge.

I thought back to how I tried to do this with dieting and exercise.

I thought back to how I tried  for over a year to save my 2nd marriage, even when my baby and I were in a Domestic Violence Shelter!

My conclusion was in the form of this comment I posted on his blog:

The only thing i can do for 30 days- each and every day- religiously, obsessively, and with extreme motivation and determination is to hope that one day- I can do something like a 30 day trial for personal growth and enlightenment. Suggestions, advice, mentor-ship, spiritual counseling…. any and all is appreciated. ;)

(Side note… this comment of mine upon hitting the “submit” button was somehow inadvertently delivered directly to the universal post master…
Who delivered me an overnight response, delicately packed inside my “Lucky dream”.)

Lastly, I ended up over at Stephen Mills Rat Race Trap Blog, in a post titled:

Well, this final blog I magically stumbled across cemented that I can indeed follow through with a new personal 30 day challenge! In the Rat Race trap blog, Stephen Mills encouraged me, speaking directly to my personal fear of giving up on myself.

Yesterday I spent half the day being guided to various blogs and everyone spoke to me staunchly about my passion for personal enlightenment.

I intend to allow the universe to continue to work for me....and take on this creative 30 day’s of LUCK challenge…. why not do this yourself.

  • What is it that you really want right now, this present moment?
  • Put it in a sentence and google it, allow the universe to works it's magic in guiding you on a delightful journey right now.
  • Fall to sleep tonight feeling "good" about your life-situation.
  • Wake up tomorrow with a wonderful feeling that contains a personal message...
  • what your 30 day trial is.

Lastly, shoot me a comment here on my post and let the rest of us know what it is...

We would all love to follow your personal 30 Day Trial. ;)

Thursday, August 13, 2009

What you are passionate about.

Photos Courtesy of: Jim Reese

It has taken me many years to get to where I am today, doing what I am passionate about!
For me it has always been producing and hosting my own local television show.
I have not been on television in over a decade. Life situations got in the way, pregnancy- marriages-divorces- countless jobs-depression-therapists-being homeless- death-cancer-etc…
It took several years for me to remember when I was at my peak of being fulfilled and joyful.
It has always been during the Safety Girl years, way back when I was in my early twenties- a local public access T.V. show I created to empower women’s sexuality. I was a sex positive advocate and was on the cutting edge of sex and censorship in my community. The show had a life of its own, and had an underground cult following. More about it here:
Coming back to television is scary for me; it is not the same as the first time around.
I've lost some of my idealistic innocence. I am not 120 pounds anymore. I am older, and have more life experiences in the form of facial aging. I am nervous that I will let my audience down. But this is just one side. The other side of me is excited, more confident than in my twenties, more grounded, a warrior princess attitude against injustice, domestic violence, and media imposed beauty.
On the outside I am twice divorced, mom of a 21 year old and a 3 year old, living a gypsies life, 20 +lbs overweight, insecure, no medical insurance nor financially stable. Several men if you want to call them “men” absolutely despise me. On the outside I am a failure-
Safety Girl, my alter ego was none of the above. She was my own self imposed super hero. I ran away from her for over a decade, tried to cover up her existence by burying her in my past. With the support of my 2nd husband- we buried my alter ego and painted a new picture of “how” I should be.
I would be a housewife- a stay at home mom- my priorities were listed in order of importance :
  • #1 keep the house spic and span,
  • #2 take care of baby, and if I had time…
  • #3 care for myself.
Well, guess what…
I’m back to being #1 again and it’s none of my business what anyone's opinion is of me.
All I know for sure is that I am exactly where I need to be. I am supporting my local community, and sharing what I have learned so far on my journey living in the present.
My life situations brought me full circle to doing what I am most passionate about. I have no idea how I will support myself- but I do know this is exactly where I should be.
This time around, I am less ego, more present, wiser, more sincere and empathetic- brutally honest- and on a mission to be a better person. This is what you can expect on my television show come this fall!
My question for you, my wee number of readers...
What is it that you are most passionate about???
Are you doing it?
If not, what is stopping you?

Sunday, August 09, 2009

The Power of Now....personal reflections #1

My skin crawls...as an inner Battle takes place. Who am I? This is not me!

An inner demon takes up residence in my body and mind. It lashes out at those I love- It makes me doubt the good in myself. It reins negativity from all directions of the world and swallows me up whole. I am it's captive. It leads me into a dark and horrid prison somewhere in my mind and body.

I've lost once again. I let it take me once again. I hate myself for being weak during my monthly cycle. I hate how every month I tell myself, "this month I will not let PMS win!"

Well... I may have had a few setbacks this month, but for the first time in this life, I finally can say no matter how awful I acted August 4th during PMS, I have no regrets, no apologias, and no tears. For the first time I was able to observe my body and mind from a higher perspective. I was able to comprehend that "THIS" is not me- in addition to being a hormonal chemical imbalance, there is another from of severe PMS.  It is a symptom of the "Collective Female Pain-Body".

Thank you, thank you to a man, one man, the only man I have ever not wanted to scream at or throw something at during PMS! I am thanking Eckhart Tolle- spiritual teacher and author who accurately describes, empathizes with, and supports us females who experience the more severe forms of PMS.

As the cramps started to pulsate in my lower abdomen, I reached page 166 in his book, "The Power of Now." Titled: "Dissolving the Collective Female Pain-Body."

Tolle describes why some women have more severe PMS than others- Its a residual physical and emotional effect brought on by our past, all the way from child hood. The past injustices experienced in our current life time creep back every month during our inner cycles. This makes perfect sense to me, as I am one of those women who had my innocence taken from me at the age of five years old.

But wait, there's more...

Another kind of Pain, a collective source from thousands of years of torture, murder, disease and cruelty, against women and witnessed by our sisters.... takes up residence in some of our bodies during our monthly cycles.

The most reassuring part on Page 166 is hearing Tolle tell me that no matter how unconscious a women may be, no matter how much she identifies with her pain-body, no matter how passive or active her pain-body is.... she may be "potentially closer to enlightenment" over her neighbors.

Please, if you happen to relate... pick up a copy and flip right to page 166-172. It will save your sanity!

Template by - Abdul Munir | Daya Earth Blogger Template