Women blog

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

What is this Law of Attraction 30 day challenge?

What is this Law of Attraction 30 day challenge?
For me, it is a personal journey into spiritual growth and enlightenment. I fiercely wanted to change my attitude about my life situation. I have been a spiritual self help junky for over 20 years… through out the years I fell off the wagon and got caught up in DRAMA, pain, misery…and so forth.  
But, I would always pick myself up, dust off, pull up my bootstraps and jump back on. After going through a heart breaking divorce, losing my home, family, friends and the man I cherished, I was emotionally and spiritually LOST!
I left an abusive marriage penny less, lived in a domestic violence shelter with my baby girl, and for several months I stayed at various peoples homes and lived out of the car.
I experienced so much betrayal during this time that I often questioned if I should have just sucked it up, kept my mouth shut, and continue to live in an extremely dysfunctional marriage. 
I experienced severe depression, sought professional help, and was honest about it in court. I was actually disciplined for my honesty, and even though I chose to live at my mom's home three months prior, I was ordered to live there under a six month supervised  house arrest. Boy, did my ex ever take advantage of that. He treated me like a second class prisoner with no rights. He even (policed) me, barging into my "bedroom" when I was not there.
My attitude for several years during and after the marriage was to expect the worst. That way I would never be disappointed. What happened was that I was attracting exactly that. The Worst! It came in a storm of negative energy and swallowed me up whole. From every corner I faced, fresh hell would appear. I attracted more betrayal, more abuse, and more misery. It got to the point where I could not even speak clearly anymore. For the first six months of my year in a half divorce battle I developed a serious stutter. It got to the point where I didn’t even want to attempt to speak; it was that physically painful. I cried on a daily basis, and grieved most horribly over the death of our marriage.
I absolutely hated MEN and kept clear of any potential romance. I sunk so far that I did not have the strength to care for myself and I thought seriously about ending my life. It truly is a miracle how far I have come and that I am alive to tell about it.
After getting settled into a new life of sorts. I gradually started to tap back in to the life I once knew. A beautiful, magical and empowering spiritual life of living in the present. Of being excited about my present moment because when there- anything is possible.
But the storm was not done with me yet, I had another huge hurdle to leap. How can I possibly live in the present when my present moment slaps me in the face with such negative force each and every time I walk in the door? That is when I decided a major spiritual intervention was needed. This 30 day Law of Attraction Challenge is my personal journey of finding peace, beauty, and magic in the midst of pain, suffering, betrayal, death and dying.
It took three months to get to day 30 of the challenge. I had some setbacks during the course of this, but I never gave up! Instead I allowed the challenge to take as long as it needed and I applied the setbacks to the challenge. Each day documented is a personal, empowering, and spiritual awakening for me, and as it happens for a few others as well.
I will continue on this journey and blog about it when the Universe urges me to.
Live your bliss.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Day 30….Be the Observer

Day 30….Be the Observer
I know in reality that Day 30 of the Law of Attraction Challenge is more like Month 3. This is done on purpose, as the Universe has graciously allowed me to not be on a deadline while living in the present.
I took time off writing this post, as it has always been my intention to ONLY blog about my journey living in the present when I am inspired, when I hear a small voice accompanied with a gigantic spark of inspiration telling me, “Now, Tanya!”
Today’s Law of Attraction 30 Day Challenge:
Be the Observer of your ego, mind, and emotions.
This challenge is a super -charged spiritual tool that will lead the four of you into a state of personal freedom. You will be released of your imprisonment to the material world. You will no longer be chained to irritation, anxiety, emotional pain, fear, anger, resentment, personal drama, hatred, and racing thoughts that take up your present moment.
Practicing the tools I am about to share with you will take however long it takes for you to feel free. For me, I have been practicing being the observer over my mind and emotions for two weeks now. Last night was my release date from my personal pain.
For the last two weeks I’ve been reading The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. This book is full of direct insights into how to free your self of the above mentioned negative feelings. It is truly the best how to book for spiritual enlightenment I’ve ever read.
Eckhart expresses that we are more than our thoughts, our ego’s, and our emotions. He bravely shares the secret to life so straightforwardly that you can start right now to be free and live a harmonious life exactly where you are in this present moment.
Steps: Observe your racing thoughts as separate from who you really are.
Observe your ego and emotional pain as separate from your spiritual being.
Observe from a higher non-judgmental point.
Sense your spiritual presence beyond your thoughts and you will soon create gaps in your mind to allow spiritual freedom to flow through you.
I started out doing this by imagining my spiritual being as a separate entity watching above my thoughts, my negative emotions, and my personal pain. She was an imaginary friend of sorts who accompanied me through the mess in my mind and life. 
The funny thing is, as I continued to practice being the observer of myself, my spiritual being started to change form- going from wearing black and witnessing my ego, emotions and thoughts shadowed in a dark corner of my mind, to wearing white, and eventually coming into my mind from above and carrying with it a bright light and finally turning into an angel. Presently, I am observing my mind and emotions in the form of my own personal guardian angel.
This personal occurrence has since been confirmed that I am indeed on the right path to enlightenment.
Eckhart established that I was/am not “crazy” for creating my own “imaginary friend”. My ego started to question this as I continued to observe my thoughts. But thankfully I got to page 40 in The Power of Now and my fave spiritual teacher had written right there in black and white: “Stay present, stay conscious. Be the ever-alert guardian of your inner space.”
What I have learned so far on this journey of mine is that I am exactly where I need to be. I am living my dreams and enjoying the abundance of our Universe. I do not have a professional identity. I’m not a home owner. I do not belong to any social status. I have no material possessions that ego can identify as “mine”. I am not in a relationship that I need people to envy. I am not recognized as someone who is successful in our culture.
If I physically died today, you would know I was free before my death. How wonderful is that?

Wednesday, July 08, 2009

Day 29: LoA 30 day challenge: Notes from the Universe

Hold your ponies, tanya! Everything you've ever dreamed of, lies on the path you're now on.

Hi Ho Silver,
The Universe

I receive notes like the one above from the Universe in my email daily- have been for over a year now.

I can not explain eloquently enough how powerful such a simple random note of encouragement received daily has effected me. It seems to me that the notes speak directly to my personal situation.

I am finally getting to the end of documenting my 30 day journey living in the present and working various tools of the law of attraction- Although in real time it has taken me almost 3 months to complete... lol I have not given up! Taken breaks, yes. Felt doubt, absolutely! Questioning this whole process and my sanity- heck ya!

But I stuck with it, and I truly believe, feel, hear, and sense in my spirit and heart that IT WORKS! The Universe is working for you, and for me!

Day 29 LoA task is simple.... Don't GIVE up, baby!
Look for the synchronicity in all of your present moments- Call them out as they happen. Notice how every situation intertwines and is uniquely
woven to show you how much support you have in, from and all around you and the Universe.

Today I won a battle that everyone said I was going to lose. Close family members told me to not bother and just to give up, to protect me.

I fought a tow truck company- and today, I WON!

I have many more up and coming challenges to fight- today I treated this particular situation as experience, I did not expect to actually win. I did not take them to court for the money. I took them to court because they not only hurt me, but were predators. They stalked a low-income senior high rise, day and night- towed their visitors and caretakers cars- The residents were too scared to fight back in fear of being evicted.

Being a caregiver my self, I know all to well how important $270.00 is to you- It is an entire paycheck for most of us. We are caring for others, obviously not for the money but for the humanitarian in us. I won and was awarded my paycheck back today- after three months of not giving up, period.

What I really won, is priceless- you can't buy validation, justice, or strength of spirit and character. It is awarded to you through the pain, suffering, and loss you experience throughout this lifetime.

I am learning to harness and convert the lowest, most pivotal, fearful personal situations into a positive learning experience. The length of time to get me to this point can not be on any clocks- we are on the universe's schedule.

I'm not out of the dark yet... but I sure can see and feel the light at the end, and that is good enough for me. If you haven't yet, go grab your personal messages from the Universe here:

Friday, July 03, 2009

Day 28 LoA Challenge: Doing Magic…. Your Fairytale

Day 28 LoA Challenge
Doing Magic….

“I magic you a baby pink horsey.” She giggles and plays along- waving her fingers in the dark and casting a magic spell. “I magic momma a princess crown and dress.” She waves her fingers in the dark again. She plays our magic game for an hour in the dark. There is no evidence of being restricted, or feeling imprisoned in a room. 
Our imaginations take precedence- she magic’s me a green and pink mermaid tale. I magic her one. She magic’s a lake. We are flipping our tails up and down in bed- we are splashing our tales in the water. My tears rolling down my cheeks are completely dried up in our Universe- She sees tiny fairies flying over the bed. I swear I see specks of glittered light twinkling in the dark above our heads.
Magic happened last night- and now this is my new reality. I saw it, felt it, and woke up with her nestled on my pillow.
Today: Day 28 Law of Attraction Challenge:
What are you going to magic? Speak your fairytale into existence!

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