Women blog

Monday, June 29, 2009

Day 27: Show me your Quality

Day 27 LoA Challenge: Show me your Quality.
I have taken some time off this LoA Challenge in order to process how to incorporate being personally betrayed against by those closest to me.

Without dishing out the dirt behind my blog post here- I have instead decided to dedicate this special Day 27- LoA 30 day Challenge to help heal the betrayals against me, and as it is my challenge- so it is yours.
Experiencing betrayal is an experience that most of us have had to overcome or are in the process of overcoming in our lives. For me, it seems to be an ongoing lesson these past few years. The emotional pain that is attached to finding out someone or a group of people we love have betrayed us can put our entire spirit into shock.
There is no exact amount of time to find closure and heal completely. It is a personal journey, you are on your own in this challenge, but you are not without universal support. There are countless ways to handle acts of betrayal against you. I for one have in the recent past handled it most unhealthy and I've found myself being my own worst enemy.
This time around I took a different approach. This is where our Day 27 LoA Challenge begins:
Today, we ask ourselves and the Universe- What is it that I need to learn from this experience.
I caution you to watch out for your ego with this exercise. If you are not completely present in asking for your answer, you will find ego telling you such things as, “You can’t trust anyone.” Or, “You asked for it!”
Or, “You deserve it.” Even telling you something like, “This is evidence that you don’t matter!”
Believing in such nonsense will have you carrying a heavy negative burden upon your shoulders- it can possess you, make you doubt the good in yourself and the people closest to you, as well as strangers- You will only hurt yourself in the long run.
But I suppose that some of us have to let it have its say, attach its negative vibe to us, and take over our precious time for a spell, and allow us to beat ourselves up even more. This is at least how I got through it- but in the midst of allowing all this misery to envelope my spirit, I never gave up.
I called these several painful laborious moments: temporary!
For you my dear reader- Your Day 27 LoA Challenge is: To acknowledge that even “Betrayal” is temporary. Ask for the lesson behind it. Then let it go by withdrawing from your ego.
You might never adequately be apologized to. You might never be asked for a heartfelt begging of your forgiveness. Even if the one/ones who betrayed you never acknowledge the pain they caused you, let those who hurt you on such a deep emotional trust breaking level, know that: “I forgive you.” In any way that releases your pain.
You are forgiving them in order to heal, not to make them heal or to feel better.
They have their own lesson to learn, and it is not our responsibility what actions they are attracting and carrying onto themselves. The most important person in this unspeakable emotional crime is YOU!
You are not the victim, you are a SURVIVOR!
You just might find that the Universe is actually working for you, even in times like this. In some way, your near present moment will exclaim, “Woola! This is why it happened. It actually benefited me even though when I was going through it I could not see this!”
For me, I found myself exclaiming…
“Woola, Tanya! You’re stronger than ever before, you’re a fighter not a flier. You my dear are the bigger person, respected and admired for this quality- a quality you have always possessed.”
This is not coming from me… it came through me… and on to you.
“Show your quality!”


Solo Ad Explosion said...

I really get what you are trying to say and forgiveness takes a while but it does work for your own survival!

Linda said...

I have been thru betrayals before and the only thing I can say is that I am a survivor irregardless of what the other side says! That is the hard part but if you can ignore it, you will be happier!

ConnieFoggles said...

I have to work on this. This is a difficult challenge for me.

Emily Veinglory: said...

To be honest I think "betrayal" is too much of a loaded word. It suggests a rather high pitch of expectation and resentment?

Diane Scott said...

As my grandmother used to say, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger!" Great post!

cady said...

this is something that i, too, have to work on.

Karen said...

It sounds like you have a powerful attitude and will overcome the obstacles those turds have tried to put upon you. Way to go!

BarbaraRae said...

This is a great post! I think we all have times when we are faced with this situation.
It is a hard lesson, but I believe we are all here to learn the art of forgiveness! When we forgive..we are forgiven!

MorgansMummy said...

Over coming betrayle is something I have never done :S I have been betrayed enough in my life that I just cant seem to find forgiveness for people anymore.

Lynn said...

It's really hard sometimes to forgive when you have been wronged. You don't want to go through the hurt again so it's easier just to stay mad. This is something I need to work on, too.

corrin said...

I sometimes get over things by burning bridges - may not be the best solution but once something is over with, I rarely return.

Christina the coffee lady said...

You are only accountable for your reaction. I don't get down for a betrayal. I just try to figure out how not to set myself up in the future.

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