Women blog

Monday, June 29, 2009

Day 27: Show me your Quality

Day 27 LoA Challenge: Show me your Quality.
I have taken some time off this LoA Challenge in order to process how to incorporate being personally betrayed against by those closest to me.

Without dishing out the dirt behind my blog post here- I have instead decided to dedicate this special Day 27- LoA 30 day Challenge to help heal the betrayals against me, and as it is my challenge- so it is yours.
Experiencing betrayal is an experience that most of us have had to overcome or are in the process of overcoming in our lives. For me, it seems to be an ongoing lesson these past few years. The emotional pain that is attached to finding out someone or a group of people we love have betrayed us can put our entire spirit into shock.
There is no exact amount of time to find closure and heal completely. It is a personal journey, you are on your own in this challenge, but you are not without universal support. There are countless ways to handle acts of betrayal against you. I for one have in the recent past handled it most unhealthy and I've found myself being my own worst enemy.
This time around I took a different approach. This is where our Day 27 LoA Challenge begins:
Today, we ask ourselves and the Universe- What is it that I need to learn from this experience.
I caution you to watch out for your ego with this exercise. If you are not completely present in asking for your answer, you will find ego telling you such things as, “You can’t trust anyone.” Or, “You asked for it!”
Or, “You deserve it.” Even telling you something like, “This is evidence that you don’t matter!”
Believing in such nonsense will have you carrying a heavy negative burden upon your shoulders- it can possess you, make you doubt the good in yourself and the people closest to you, as well as strangers- You will only hurt yourself in the long run.
But I suppose that some of us have to let it have its say, attach its negative vibe to us, and take over our precious time for a spell, and allow us to beat ourselves up even more. This is at least how I got through it- but in the midst of allowing all this misery to envelope my spirit, I never gave up.
I called these several painful laborious moments: temporary!
For you my dear reader- Your Day 27 LoA Challenge is: To acknowledge that even “Betrayal” is temporary. Ask for the lesson behind it. Then let it go by withdrawing from your ego.
You might never adequately be apologized to. You might never be asked for a heartfelt begging of your forgiveness. Even if the one/ones who betrayed you never acknowledge the pain they caused you, let those who hurt you on such a deep emotional trust breaking level, know that: “I forgive you.” In any way that releases your pain.
You are forgiving them in order to heal, not to make them heal or to feel better.
They have their own lesson to learn, and it is not our responsibility what actions they are attracting and carrying onto themselves. The most important person in this unspeakable emotional crime is YOU!
You are not the victim, you are a SURVIVOR!
You just might find that the Universe is actually working for you, even in times like this. In some way, your near present moment will exclaim, “Woola! This is why it happened. It actually benefited me even though when I was going through it I could not see this!”
For me, I found myself exclaiming…
“Woola, Tanya! You’re stronger than ever before, you’re a fighter not a flier. You my dear are the bigger person, respected and admired for this quality- a quality you have always possessed.”
This is not coming from me… it came through me… and on to you.
“Show your quality!”

Monday, June 15, 2009

Girls, let's get ready to: "Fun Out!" A Support tool for weight loss for real women!

I am now down to 150.... it took me three in a half months to lose ten pounds. Weight loss for me has been so much like Oprah's situation, up and down... up and down.... up...up...up...

Now I am just getting it that slow and steady wins the race. I am no longer giving myself due dates on my weight-loss goals. Instead I am learning to love my body, every little inch of every huge and small part of me, right now!

What has been my inspiration?

Well, back in the summer of 2006 after I had my little princess, I was 165 pounds. My now ex-husband bought me some fitness dance videos to workout to. Excitedly one afternoon I slipped in one of the workout DVDs, stood in front of the T.V. and watched a young hot blondie in short shorts and a halter top tell me to rock out with her and her super thin and even younger hot girlfriends.

No mention or evidence of them ever being overweight, moms, depressed, emotional eaters- none of that.

I tried for an entire five minutes to follow their steps- my heart rate did not increase at all, but the heartache over feeling like a failure did. "I cant do this! I suck! I will never look like I used to!" Those girls became instant enemy's within 5 minutes. I hated them! lol More so, I hated myself for giving up so soon.

This was how working out with these girls made me feel. (Like giving up.)
I popped out the DVD and threw it across the room. I decided that I would never subject myself to working out with women who were superficial, too smiley, and obviously never lived in my kind of body before.

Being a former Jenny Craig Weight-loss counselor and client, I knew I could lose the weight. But I wanted it to be fun, inspiring, affordable, and a positive experience.

So, I decided to start my own weight loss program for myself.
I also created my own 30 minute fitness video to work out to, staring me- FAT and all!
I would not speak in the video, using subtitles instead- because I would just get more frustrated trying to follow along while trying to listen to those size one girls dancing at the same time.

I also decided that I would make my video super easy, taking baby steps if you will, to allow busy moms like myself a realistic fitness goal for each day. The video would be three ten minute fitness segments.

"If I can just get in 10 minutes today, then I'm doing great!"

So, I watched the video recently and that girl inspired me! She is real, beautiful and confident. She looks like me, and WOW- she is me. lol

I'm back on the saddle again. Thanks to a determined chicky who three years ago in spite of being over weight, and a new mom, was confident enough to video tape her own fitness regimen and share it with others like herself.

At the top of this post is a segment for you to check out... Your comments are greatly appreciated, as I am working on an extensive blog post about: "How to do the Jenny Craig program for free" and I will post along with it, all ten minute "Fun-Out" segments here on my blog for anybody who is interested in being my weight loss buddy.

Now, if you happen to still be here, and watched a few minutes of the video above... here is a another one I made before I was preggors- I know I can do this again.

Monday, June 08, 2009

My Town: Low income Seniors reaction to President Obama

I had the distinct honor to be invited to an Obama potluck party for the inauguration of our New President!

Ypsilanti, Michigan

It gives me great pride to introduce to you some beautiful, real and articulate seniors living in a low income senior housing facility. Enjoy refreshingly different views and reactions that you might not have experienced on this historic day.

Brought to you by my own handy camcorder work:

Two short videos...

The first one is an emotional response to Aretha Franklyn singing God Bless America, in which the residents were so moved they stood up and placed their hand over their hearts with tears of joy.

The second video is a short interview with some of the residents sharing their thoughts about our first black president.

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