Women blog

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Inches lost instead of pounds Day 9


I have decided to stay off the scale after working out every day and watching my diet for 8 days now. My personal daily goal is to get in at least 10,000 steps on my mini trampoline while using hand and ankle weights-

It has been so rewarding to actually watch my steps increase every day, starting at 6,000 in an hour and finishing with more than 15,000 in just over an hour. But my scale says I have put on weight, which makes me want to give up.

But my man "Prince" is always in the back of my mind, singing (Pop Daddy)

"When you think about giving up is when you need to be trying"

So, instead of giving up I will get bouncing- and maybe even make my goal of 20,000 steps in a day. And thank god for measuring tape- Since July I have lost 4 in a half inches off my body- Even though a huge part of me says it should be more by now, someone else inside is saying, "Girlfriend, that is better than gaining or not losing any inches at all.

Tuesday, September 08, 2009

Storage Smile's

A week ago I gave up my packed storage unit for a few bones.
Days following were hard for me; I began to see some personal belongings showing up on craigslist.
For several days I felt anxious and uncertain about this decision.
“what if” moments crept into my thoughts.
What if I left something behind that I wish I would not have?”
“What if something was worth a lot of money?”
“What if…this and what if that?”
You know what? There are no more “What ifs”.
By unloading twenty years of my past I am now at a point where I feel anything is possible.
Starting over is not easy after divorce. It has taken me two years to finally feel free and to embrace the beauty and magic of letting go of my past while at the same time starting my life over from scratch.
Not knowing what is going to happen next. Not owning a home or material possessions. Not knowing how I will survive financially next month. Not knowing what job interview will be “the one”…
For some odd reason, I’m ok with all the not knowing-
What I know for sure is so much more pungent- Like the stench of Limburger cheese.
I know by the smell of it that it will taste horrible, but there is excitement in finding out, my curiosity with not knowing forces me to sink in and see for myself.
There is something hidden under that wrapper, something that I have never before experienced, and no matter how bad it stinks I will live to tell about it.
So I take the plunge, let go of my fears and to my surprise I find that I have more experience, more wisdom, and more lessons in my life than ever before-
I’m indeed living to tell about it, and it’s pungently priceless… a taste of emotional freedom.
Heavy burdens lifted, my present moment is not getting to the finish line, and I have nothing holding me back anymore.
All I have now is an overwhelming sense of how exciting it is to not know, and leave it at that!

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Storage Tears

I'm expecting a call any minute now. Someone who will throw me a few bones for the contents of my storage unit. Less than 24 hours ago I went through my stuff, and made sure to grab any thing that could be read by strangers. I left the china that had sentimental value. The crystal given as wedding gifts. China my dad gave me. Lastly, if they could speak what stories they would tell: My infamous costumes worn back in the day on public television.

It was my dream back then to store my costumes, for one day I knew I would have a daughter who would play dress up in them, and later wear them for Halloween parties.

But, I learned just over a year ago that material possessions can be taken away from you and it is better to not have emotional attachments to "things". Easier said than done. But I am following through with it.

Goodbye to my past- no more emotional ties to you- someone else can pick you up, dust you off and make a buck or a new memory off you.

I'm looking forward now. In this present moment I have no way of keeping you safe, I can't take care of you properly, I am not a good owner for you material possessions.

Good bye to my storage unit neighbor. How you manage to hold on to your treasures for almost ten years now at $100.00 a month, I am a bit envious- but I still question what could possibly be so valuable to keep it locked up somewhere and hidden in a box all these years.

As for me, all I want to keep are the secrets I wrote down in countless journals, and the evidence in old photographs that captured a young women who never imagined a day like this would come.

The last "possession" that will continue on with me in the present is my friendly childhood doll. She is torn, worn, and battered but filled with hours of imagination and emotional relief when I was growing up.

She was a lot like me, one of a kind....Smurfette.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

What is Put Pocketing?

Want to know what Put-Pocketing is?..... It's the opposite of pick pocketing and is happening in one lucky city right now as I type.... More here: http://www.ypsigirl.com/2009/08/put-pocketing-instead-of-pick-pocketing.html

Monday, August 24, 2009

Craigslist Barter ad: My storage unit for what ever.

Treasures for what-ever...

If I don't have anything I don't have anything to worry about.

After all most getting evicted from my storage unit, I had to make a decision if it is worth the $100.00 a month to store my personal treasures.

I took a long look at my things in the unit, started to put aside a few items I just couldn't part with. To my surprise the things that nobody else would want or pay for were the things I knew I could not part with.

So with this insight I took a drastic measure and posted my storage unit on craigslist.
I have to be out of the unit before September 6, 2009-

I have been keeping a storage unit for too long in hopes that I would either have a home to move into or a retro/thrift shop on mich ave in ypsilanti.

Maybe my luck will change if I just get rid of it all.

Many cool things, fancy things, retro and vintage items, clothes, and some junk.

It would be nice if the bidder would return any personal items found- ie: pic's, journals, baby memories.

Highest Bidder will win and must clear out the unit on Sunday, August 30, 2009

Some items in the unit include:

Wedding gifts from two marriages:
Crystal glasses and such-
Grandmas working sewing machine-
Americana t.v. dinner trays-
Bikes in need of repair-
Brand new work lights-
Business supplies-
2 working air conditioners-
2 NEW shop light kits-
Various Furniture-
Baby items-toys-etc...
Kitchen appliances-
Camping supplies and nice family tent-
Retro Clothes- Sexy Costumes & props used for a local T.V. show from the nighties-
Lots of retro and old time music: Records, tapes, and C.D's-
VHS movies-
Crafting supplies-
Lots of Books: woman's studies, business, lesbian genre, sexuality, self help, metaphysical-
Various house hold items-

the lock to the unit-
....much much more.... Winning Bidder Must take EVERY Thing.

I will post more pictures of stuff in the unit through out the week.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

The LUCKY Dream...

Created by OnePlusYou

This morning I woke up from a dream- not your ordinary sort of dream- it was a prolific, subconscious-secret message in a bottle genus type of dream! The dream had a seriously strong emotion attached to it. Telling me in words, visuals, thoughts and feeling that... "You are LUCKY Tanya!" It did not end there, it pushed my sorry sleepy butt out of bed and forced me to take up a new 30 day personal growth challenge-

My 30 day trial challenge is this: Each and Every day for the next 30 days I will proclaim and exclaim as soon as I wake up and just before I fall a sleep that, "I am Lucky!"

Come September 19, 2009 my challenge will be over... who knows what will transpire between now and then. All I know for sure is that this is a 30 day trial I for sure can stick to and not fail with.

How did I get to this morning's blog post you might ask...
Yesterday, I Googled  "How to become a successful blogger"...

I stumbled across Problogger Darren Rouse- author of a post titled: "How to be Lucky"-

It is a fascinating and motivating article packed with 13 key factors Darren, a seriously super-blogger success story has learned along the way.
After leaving his "lucky" post I stumbled across a fascinating young blogger the same age as my son! Over at: http://www.aboundlessworld.com
Bud Hennekes, is the creator of this inspiring Blog.

It is fantastic to see young people on the same highway I'm taking:
The Self Enlightenment Entrance Ramp!

Bud's post titled:
30 Day Trial: Experience The Best You
At first glance, cynical Tanya laughed about actually following through with a new 30 day trial.
However, I read and re-read his post.

I must confess, this young man-child blogger personally had me at: "Make a quantum leap"

An excerpt...
If you wish to make a quantum leap in a particular area of your life, I highly suggest experimenting with a 30 day trial of your choosing. That is, for 30 days, do one or two activities everyday without fail.
I thought back to how I had tried to do something like this with my Law of Attraction 30 day challenge.

I thought back to how I tried to do this with dieting and exercise.

I thought back to how I tried  for over a year to save my 2nd marriage, even when my baby and I were in a Domestic Violence Shelter!

My conclusion was in the form of this comment I posted on his blog:

The only thing i can do for 30 days- each and every day- religiously, obsessively, and with extreme motivation and determination is to hope that one day- I can do something like a 30 day trial for personal growth and enlightenment. Suggestions, advice, mentor-ship, spiritual counseling…. any and all is appreciated. ;)

(Side note… this comment of mine upon hitting the “submit” button was somehow inadvertently delivered directly to the universal post master…
Who delivered me an overnight response, delicately packed inside my “Lucky dream”.)

Lastly, I ended up over at Stephen Mills Rat Race Trap Blog, in a post titled:

Well, this final blog I magically stumbled across cemented that I can indeed follow through with a new personal 30 day challenge! In the Rat Race trap blog, Stephen Mills encouraged me, speaking directly to my personal fear of giving up on myself.

Yesterday I spent half the day being guided to various blogs and everyone spoke to me staunchly about my passion for personal enlightenment.

I intend to allow the universe to continue to work for me....and take on this creative 30 day’s of LUCK challenge…. why not do this yourself.

  • What is it that you really want right now, this present moment?
  • Put it in a sentence and google it, allow the universe to works it's magic in guiding you on a delightful journey right now.
  • Fall to sleep tonight feeling "good" about your life-situation.
  • Wake up tomorrow with a wonderful feeling that contains a personal message...
  • what your 30 day trial is.

Lastly, shoot me a comment here on my post and let the rest of us know what it is...

We would all love to follow your personal 30 Day Trial. ;)

Thursday, August 13, 2009

What you are passionate about.

Photos Courtesy of: Jim Reese

It has taken me many years to get to where I am today, doing what I am passionate about!
For me it has always been producing and hosting my own local television show.
I have not been on television in over a decade. Life situations got in the way, pregnancy- marriages-divorces- countless jobs-depression-therapists-being homeless- death-cancer-etc…
It took several years for me to remember when I was at my peak of being fulfilled and joyful.
It has always been during the Safety Girl years, way back when I was in my early twenties- a local public access T.V. show I created to empower women’s sexuality. I was a sex positive advocate and was on the cutting edge of sex and censorship in my community. The show had a life of its own, and had an underground cult following. More about it here:
Coming back to television is scary for me; it is not the same as the first time around.
I've lost some of my idealistic innocence. I am not 120 pounds anymore. I am older, and have more life experiences in the form of facial aging. I am nervous that I will let my audience down. But this is just one side. The other side of me is excited, more confident than in my twenties, more grounded, a warrior princess attitude against injustice, domestic violence, and media imposed beauty.
On the outside I am twice divorced, mom of a 21 year old and a 3 year old, living a gypsies life, 20 +lbs overweight, insecure, no medical insurance nor financially stable. Several men if you want to call them “men” absolutely despise me. On the outside I am a failure-
Safety Girl, my alter ego was none of the above. She was my own self imposed super hero. I ran away from her for over a decade, tried to cover up her existence by burying her in my past. With the support of my 2nd husband- we buried my alter ego and painted a new picture of “how” I should be.
I would be a housewife- a stay at home mom- my priorities were listed in order of importance :
  • #1 keep the house spic and span,
  • #2 take care of baby, and if I had time…
  • #3 care for myself.
Well, guess what…
I’m back to being #1 again and it’s none of my business what anyone's opinion is of me.
All I know for sure is that I am exactly where I need to be. I am supporting my local community, and sharing what I have learned so far on my journey living in the present.
My life situations brought me full circle to doing what I am most passionate about. I have no idea how I will support myself- but I do know this is exactly where I should be.
This time around, I am less ego, more present, wiser, more sincere and empathetic- brutally honest- and on a mission to be a better person. This is what you can expect on my television show come this fall!
My question for you, my wee number of readers...
What is it that you are most passionate about???
Are you doing it?
If not, what is stopping you?

Sunday, August 09, 2009

The Power of Now....personal reflections #1

My skin crawls...as an inner Battle takes place. Who am I? This is not me!

An inner demon takes up residence in my body and mind. It lashes out at those I love- It makes me doubt the good in myself. It reins negativity from all directions of the world and swallows me up whole. I am it's captive. It leads me into a dark and horrid prison somewhere in my mind and body.

I've lost once again. I let it take me once again. I hate myself for being weak during my monthly cycle. I hate how every month I tell myself, "this month I will not let PMS win!"

Well... I may have had a few setbacks this month, but for the first time in this life, I finally can say no matter how awful I acted August 4th during PMS, I have no regrets, no apologias, and no tears. For the first time I was able to observe my body and mind from a higher perspective. I was able to comprehend that "THIS" is not me- in addition to being a hormonal chemical imbalance, there is another from of severe PMS.  It is a symptom of the "Collective Female Pain-Body".

Thank you, thank you to a man, one man, the only man I have ever not wanted to scream at or throw something at during PMS! I am thanking Eckhart Tolle- spiritual teacher and author who accurately describes, empathizes with, and supports us females who experience the more severe forms of PMS.

As the cramps started to pulsate in my lower abdomen, I reached page 166 in his book, "The Power of Now." Titled: "Dissolving the Collective Female Pain-Body."

Tolle describes why some women have more severe PMS than others- Its a residual physical and emotional effect brought on by our past, all the way from child hood. The past injustices experienced in our current life time creep back every month during our inner cycles. This makes perfect sense to me, as I am one of those women who had my innocence taken from me at the age of five years old.

But wait, there's more...

Another kind of Pain, a collective source from thousands of years of torture, murder, disease and cruelty, against women and witnessed by our sisters.... takes up residence in some of our bodies during our monthly cycles.

The most reassuring part on Page 166 is hearing Tolle tell me that no matter how unconscious a women may be, no matter how much she identifies with her pain-body, no matter how passive or active her pain-body is.... she may be "potentially closer to enlightenment" over her neighbors.

Please, if you happen to relate... pick up a copy and flip right to page 166-172. It will save your sanity!

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

What is this Law of Attraction 30 day challenge?

What is this Law of Attraction 30 day challenge?
For me, it is a personal journey into spiritual growth and enlightenment. I fiercely wanted to change my attitude about my life situation. I have been a spiritual self help junky for over 20 years… through out the years I fell off the wagon and got caught up in DRAMA, pain, misery…and so forth.  
But, I would always pick myself up, dust off, pull up my bootstraps and jump back on. After going through a heart breaking divorce, losing my home, family, friends and the man I cherished, I was emotionally and spiritually LOST!
I left an abusive marriage penny less, lived in a domestic violence shelter with my baby girl, and for several months I stayed at various peoples homes and lived out of the car.
I experienced so much betrayal during this time that I often questioned if I should have just sucked it up, kept my mouth shut, and continue to live in an extremely dysfunctional marriage. 
I experienced severe depression, sought professional help, and was honest about it in court. I was actually disciplined for my honesty, and even though I chose to live at my mom's home three months prior, I was ordered to live there under a six month supervised  house arrest. Boy, did my ex ever take advantage of that. He treated me like a second class prisoner with no rights. He even (policed) me, barging into my "bedroom" when I was not there.
My attitude for several years during and after the marriage was to expect the worst. That way I would never be disappointed. What happened was that I was attracting exactly that. The Worst! It came in a storm of negative energy and swallowed me up whole. From every corner I faced, fresh hell would appear. I attracted more betrayal, more abuse, and more misery. It got to the point where I could not even speak clearly anymore. For the first six months of my year in a half divorce battle I developed a serious stutter. It got to the point where I didn’t even want to attempt to speak; it was that physically painful. I cried on a daily basis, and grieved most horribly over the death of our marriage.
I absolutely hated MEN and kept clear of any potential romance. I sunk so far that I did not have the strength to care for myself and I thought seriously about ending my life. It truly is a miracle how far I have come and that I am alive to tell about it.
After getting settled into a new life of sorts. I gradually started to tap back in to the life I once knew. A beautiful, magical and empowering spiritual life of living in the present. Of being excited about my present moment because when there- anything is possible.
But the storm was not done with me yet, I had another huge hurdle to leap. How can I possibly live in the present when my present moment slaps me in the face with such negative force each and every time I walk in the door? That is when I decided a major spiritual intervention was needed. This 30 day Law of Attraction Challenge is my personal journey of finding peace, beauty, and magic in the midst of pain, suffering, betrayal, death and dying.
It took three months to get to day 30 of the challenge. I had some setbacks during the course of this, but I never gave up! Instead I allowed the challenge to take as long as it needed and I applied the setbacks to the challenge. Each day documented is a personal, empowering, and spiritual awakening for me, and as it happens for a few others as well.
I will continue on this journey and blog about it when the Universe urges me to.
Live your bliss.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Day 30….Be the Observer

Day 30….Be the Observer
I know in reality that Day 30 of the Law of Attraction Challenge is more like Month 3. This is done on purpose, as the Universe has graciously allowed me to not be on a deadline while living in the present.
I took time off writing this post, as it has always been my intention to ONLY blog about my journey living in the present when I am inspired, when I hear a small voice accompanied with a gigantic spark of inspiration telling me, “Now, Tanya!”
Today’s Law of Attraction 30 Day Challenge:
Be the Observer of your ego, mind, and emotions.
This challenge is a super -charged spiritual tool that will lead the four of you into a state of personal freedom. You will be released of your imprisonment to the material world. You will no longer be chained to irritation, anxiety, emotional pain, fear, anger, resentment, personal drama, hatred, and racing thoughts that take up your present moment.
Practicing the tools I am about to share with you will take however long it takes for you to feel free. For me, I have been practicing being the observer over my mind and emotions for two weeks now. Last night was my release date from my personal pain.
For the last two weeks I’ve been reading The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. This book is full of direct insights into how to free your self of the above mentioned negative feelings. It is truly the best how to book for spiritual enlightenment I’ve ever read.
Eckhart expresses that we are more than our thoughts, our ego’s, and our emotions. He bravely shares the secret to life so straightforwardly that you can start right now to be free and live a harmonious life exactly where you are in this present moment.
Steps: Observe your racing thoughts as separate from who you really are.
Observe your ego and emotional pain as separate from your spiritual being.
Observe from a higher non-judgmental point.
Sense your spiritual presence beyond your thoughts and you will soon create gaps in your mind to allow spiritual freedom to flow through you.
I started out doing this by imagining my spiritual being as a separate entity watching above my thoughts, my negative emotions, and my personal pain. She was an imaginary friend of sorts who accompanied me through the mess in my mind and life. 
The funny thing is, as I continued to practice being the observer of myself, my spiritual being started to change form- going from wearing black and witnessing my ego, emotions and thoughts shadowed in a dark corner of my mind, to wearing white, and eventually coming into my mind from above and carrying with it a bright light and finally turning into an angel. Presently, I am observing my mind and emotions in the form of my own personal guardian angel.
This personal occurrence has since been confirmed that I am indeed on the right path to enlightenment.
Eckhart established that I was/am not “crazy” for creating my own “imaginary friend”. My ego started to question this as I continued to observe my thoughts. But thankfully I got to page 40 in The Power of Now and my fave spiritual teacher had written right there in black and white: “Stay present, stay conscious. Be the ever-alert guardian of your inner space.”
What I have learned so far on this journey of mine is that I am exactly where I need to be. I am living my dreams and enjoying the abundance of our Universe. I do not have a professional identity. I’m not a home owner. I do not belong to any social status. I have no material possessions that ego can identify as “mine”. I am not in a relationship that I need people to envy. I am not recognized as someone who is successful in our culture.
If I physically died today, you would know I was free before my death. How wonderful is that?

Wednesday, July 08, 2009

Day 29: LoA 30 day challenge: Notes from the Universe

Hold your ponies, tanya! Everything you've ever dreamed of, lies on the path you're now on.

Hi Ho Silver,
The Universe

I receive notes like the one above from the Universe in my email daily- have been for over a year now.

I can not explain eloquently enough how powerful such a simple random note of encouragement received daily has effected me. It seems to me that the notes speak directly to my personal situation.

I am finally getting to the end of documenting my 30 day journey living in the present and working various tools of the law of attraction- Although in real time it has taken me almost 3 months to complete... lol I have not given up! Taken breaks, yes. Felt doubt, absolutely! Questioning this whole process and my sanity- heck ya!

But I stuck with it, and I truly believe, feel, hear, and sense in my spirit and heart that IT WORKS! The Universe is working for you, and for me!

Day 29 LoA task is simple.... Don't GIVE up, baby!
Look for the synchronicity in all of your present moments- Call them out as they happen. Notice how every situation intertwines and is uniquely
woven to show you how much support you have in, from and all around you and the Universe.

Today I won a battle that everyone said I was going to lose. Close family members told me to not bother and just to give up, to protect me.

I fought a tow truck company- and today, I WON!

I have many more up and coming challenges to fight- today I treated this particular situation as experience, I did not expect to actually win. I did not take them to court for the money. I took them to court because they not only hurt me, but were predators. They stalked a low-income senior high rise, day and night- towed their visitors and caretakers cars- The residents were too scared to fight back in fear of being evicted.

Being a caregiver my self, I know all to well how important $270.00 is to you- It is an entire paycheck for most of us. We are caring for others, obviously not for the money but for the humanitarian in us. I won and was awarded my paycheck back today- after three months of not giving up, period.

What I really won, is priceless- you can't buy validation, justice, or strength of spirit and character. It is awarded to you through the pain, suffering, and loss you experience throughout this lifetime.

I am learning to harness and convert the lowest, most pivotal, fearful personal situations into a positive learning experience. The length of time to get me to this point can not be on any clocks- we are on the universe's schedule.

I'm not out of the dark yet... but I sure can see and feel the light at the end, and that is good enough for me. If you haven't yet, go grab your personal messages from the Universe here:

Friday, July 03, 2009

Day 28 LoA Challenge: Doing Magic…. Your Fairytale

Day 28 LoA Challenge
Doing Magic….

“I magic you a baby pink horsey.” She giggles and plays along- waving her fingers in the dark and casting a magic spell. “I magic momma a princess crown and dress.” She waves her fingers in the dark again. She plays our magic game for an hour in the dark. There is no evidence of being restricted, or feeling imprisoned in a room. 
Our imaginations take precedence- she magic’s me a green and pink mermaid tale. I magic her one. She magic’s a lake. We are flipping our tails up and down in bed- we are splashing our tales in the water. My tears rolling down my cheeks are completely dried up in our Universe- She sees tiny fairies flying over the bed. I swear I see specks of glittered light twinkling in the dark above our heads.
Magic happened last night- and now this is my new reality. I saw it, felt it, and woke up with her nestled on my pillow.
Today: Day 28 Law of Attraction Challenge:
What are you going to magic? Speak your fairytale into existence!

Monday, June 29, 2009

Day 27: Show me your Quality

Day 27 LoA Challenge: Show me your Quality.
I have taken some time off this LoA Challenge in order to process how to incorporate being personally betrayed against by those closest to me.

Without dishing out the dirt behind my blog post here- I have instead decided to dedicate this special Day 27- LoA 30 day Challenge to help heal the betrayals against me, and as it is my challenge- so it is yours.
Experiencing betrayal is an experience that most of us have had to overcome or are in the process of overcoming in our lives. For me, it seems to be an ongoing lesson these past few years. The emotional pain that is attached to finding out someone or a group of people we love have betrayed us can put our entire spirit into shock.
There is no exact amount of time to find closure and heal completely. It is a personal journey, you are on your own in this challenge, but you are not without universal support. There are countless ways to handle acts of betrayal against you. I for one have in the recent past handled it most unhealthy and I've found myself being my own worst enemy.
This time around I took a different approach. This is where our Day 27 LoA Challenge begins:
Today, we ask ourselves and the Universe- What is it that I need to learn from this experience.
I caution you to watch out for your ego with this exercise. If you are not completely present in asking for your answer, you will find ego telling you such things as, “You can’t trust anyone.” Or, “You asked for it!”
Or, “You deserve it.” Even telling you something like, “This is evidence that you don’t matter!”
Believing in such nonsense will have you carrying a heavy negative burden upon your shoulders- it can possess you, make you doubt the good in yourself and the people closest to you, as well as strangers- You will only hurt yourself in the long run.
But I suppose that some of us have to let it have its say, attach its negative vibe to us, and take over our precious time for a spell, and allow us to beat ourselves up even more. This is at least how I got through it- but in the midst of allowing all this misery to envelope my spirit, I never gave up.
I called these several painful laborious moments: temporary!
For you my dear reader- Your Day 27 LoA Challenge is: To acknowledge that even “Betrayal” is temporary. Ask for the lesson behind it. Then let it go by withdrawing from your ego.
You might never adequately be apologized to. You might never be asked for a heartfelt begging of your forgiveness. Even if the one/ones who betrayed you never acknowledge the pain they caused you, let those who hurt you on such a deep emotional trust breaking level, know that: “I forgive you.” In any way that releases your pain.
You are forgiving them in order to heal, not to make them heal or to feel better.
They have their own lesson to learn, and it is not our responsibility what actions they are attracting and carrying onto themselves. The most important person in this unspeakable emotional crime is YOU!
You are not the victim, you are a SURVIVOR!
You just might find that the Universe is actually working for you, even in times like this. In some way, your near present moment will exclaim, “Woola! This is why it happened. It actually benefited me even though when I was going through it I could not see this!”
For me, I found myself exclaiming…
“Woola, Tanya! You’re stronger than ever before, you’re a fighter not a flier. You my dear are the bigger person, respected and admired for this quality- a quality you have always possessed.”
This is not coming from me… it came through me… and on to you.
“Show your quality!”

Monday, June 15, 2009

Girls, let's get ready to: "Fun Out!" A Support tool for weight loss for real women!

I am now down to 150.... it took me three in a half months to lose ten pounds. Weight loss for me has been so much like Oprah's situation, up and down... up and down.... up...up...up...

Now I am just getting it that slow and steady wins the race. I am no longer giving myself due dates on my weight-loss goals. Instead I am learning to love my body, every little inch of every huge and small part of me, right now!

What has been my inspiration?

Well, back in the summer of 2006 after I had my little princess, I was 165 pounds. My now ex-husband bought me some fitness dance videos to workout to. Excitedly one afternoon I slipped in one of the workout DVDs, stood in front of the T.V. and watched a young hot blondie in short shorts and a halter top tell me to rock out with her and her super thin and even younger hot girlfriends.

No mention or evidence of them ever being overweight, moms, depressed, emotional eaters- none of that.

I tried for an entire five minutes to follow their steps- my heart rate did not increase at all, but the heartache over feeling like a failure did. "I cant do this! I suck! I will never look like I used to!" Those girls became instant enemy's within 5 minutes. I hated them! lol More so, I hated myself for giving up so soon.

This was how working out with these girls made me feel. (Like giving up.)
I popped out the DVD and threw it across the room. I decided that I would never subject myself to working out with women who were superficial, too smiley, and obviously never lived in my kind of body before.

Being a former Jenny Craig Weight-loss counselor and client, I knew I could lose the weight. But I wanted it to be fun, inspiring, affordable, and a positive experience.

So, I decided to start my own weight loss program for myself.
I also created my own 30 minute fitness video to work out to, staring me- FAT and all!
I would not speak in the video, using subtitles instead- because I would just get more frustrated trying to follow along while trying to listen to those size one girls dancing at the same time.

I also decided that I would make my video super easy, taking baby steps if you will, to allow busy moms like myself a realistic fitness goal for each day. The video would be three ten minute fitness segments.

"If I can just get in 10 minutes today, then I'm doing great!"

So, I watched the video recently and that girl inspired me! She is real, beautiful and confident. She looks like me, and WOW- she is me. lol

I'm back on the saddle again. Thanks to a determined chicky who three years ago in spite of being over weight, and a new mom, was confident enough to video tape her own fitness regimen and share it with others like herself.

At the top of this post is a segment for you to check out... Your comments are greatly appreciated, as I am working on an extensive blog post about: "How to do the Jenny Craig program for free" and I will post along with it, all ten minute "Fun-Out" segments here on my blog for anybody who is interested in being my weight loss buddy.

Now, if you happen to still be here, and watched a few minutes of the video above... here is a another one I made before I was preggors- I know I can do this again.

Monday, June 08, 2009

My Town: Low income Seniors reaction to President Obama

I had the distinct honor to be invited to an Obama potluck party for the inauguration of our New President!

Ypsilanti, Michigan

It gives me great pride to introduce to you some beautiful, real and articulate seniors living in a low income senior housing facility. Enjoy refreshingly different views and reactions that you might not have experienced on this historic day.

Brought to you by my own handy camcorder work:

Two short videos...

The first one is an emotional response to Aretha Franklyn singing God Bless America, in which the residents were so moved they stood up and placed their hand over their hearts with tears of joy.

The second video is a short interview with some of the residents sharing their thoughts about our first black president.

Saturday, May 30, 2009

Day 26: LoA 30 Day challenge: “Speaking your Dreams into Existence.”

Day 26:

For the past 7 months I have been following Rebecca Marina, a motivational speaker, spiritual Channel, and Emotional Freedom Tapping expert. She has an enormous collection of youtube videos that guide you on using EFT techniques. As well as several lengthy "free" audio meditation exercises- many that guide you on using the tools of the universe for the Law of Attraction.

Today's LoA Challenge is:

“Speaking your Dreams into Existence.”
May 22, 2009 “Speaking your Dreams into Existence.” By Rebecca Marina

The power of your words is one of the most powerful forces you can use to create what your heart desires. I discovered the power of “Speaking my Dreams into Existence” in a playful manner.

At the tender age of forty I took my first art lesson and loved it. I immediately began to say, “I am an artist…” with a sense of playfulness. I knew I wasn’t really an accomplished artist yet but it gave me so much pleasure to say it and it sounded so good. Amazingly, within one year’s time,

I was charging over one thousand dollars a pop for my beautiful portrait work. More recently one of my brothers jokingly teased me about taking time off. He called me one Monday morning while I was getting a pedicure instead of working. He said, “Oh, so, Rebecca, you make so much in one day that you can just take the rest of the week off?” And I replied, “Oh yes, that sounds so good to me…”

After that point, I started playfully repeating his own words to myself. “You know, I make so much in one day, that I just take the rest of the week off.” Lo and behold, if it didn’t come true in less than a months time. I am am emotional healing workshop leader and within a month my classes started filling up so full that I really did make so much from one day’s work that I could have taken it easy the rest of the week.

Please realize that I’m telling you this, not to make you feel left out, but to encourage you to do it, too. That is my sole purpose for sharing anything with you. So you can do it too and because you can do it too…

The vital key here is to keep it light and playful. The energy of playfulness opens your valves to receiving. When we take our dreams too seriously it can cause an energy of desperation which blocks your flow. If you repeat affirmations with an air of desperation and complete seriousness you stifle the flow. Everything is energy and you attract what you put out, so keep it light and fun while letting the universe know what would be fun for you.

Make it easy on yourself, play a game with this. What dreams would you like to come true? Practice saying them in a joking manner and see how good that feels just to have the words roll off your tongue. Have fun with your words and “Speak your dreams right into Existence”.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ You have permission to copy and use this article for website, blog or newsletter content for your readers if you keep this by-line in place: Rebecca Marina is an Emotional Freedom Techniques Expert, Spiritual Channel, known as the ’self help queen’ of Youtube. Visit Rebecca: http://www.rebeccamarina.com

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Day 25: LoA 30 Day Challenge: Create Your Work Shop for Deliberate Creation!

Day 25: Today's LoA Challenge will take 6 minutes to complete. Today fellow co-creators we are going to create our own workshop in order to attract what we want in our life right now!
Your task for today is to choose up to THREE important things you want in your life!
You will need a piece of paper for each subject.
Write down at the top of each paper your "Desire".
Now, finish this sentence: "These are the reasons I want this...." Write until you can not come up with anymore reasons, don't think about your grammar or spelling, and do this in your own handwriting. Now, write and finish this sentence the same way:
"I believe that I will have...( fill in the blank) for these reasons:"
Lastly, for the rest of the day... in every situation you find yourself in, deliberately look for ONLY the things you like. For example, personally I have such a hard time going down stairs, where my dad is dying on the couch, where the blinds are drawn, windows closed, and even though it is summer time, and 70 degrees outside the heater is turned up, and a space heater is next to his feet on the couch. It is dark, sweltering, the stench of death welcomes me at the bottom of the stairs. This can be depressing, and hard on my emotions. It is like living full time for the past 7 months inside a dreary, low income hospice. But for the rest of the day, I will focus on what I like about the downstairs:
  1. I love seeing how much my plant has grown over the years, knowing it has traveled with me and shared our journey on the road, making several stops along the way and resting and still growing in several temporary housing units.
  2. I love remembering when I first bought it, how small it was, and how much care I have given it over the years in spite of our living arrangements. It's continued growth and flourishing leaves signify my own growth over the years.
  3. As I am downstairs, I love to hear the songs my canary sings, vibrating through out the entire place, waiting for me to return to our room.
  4. I love to see my mom's cats tails swaying under the curtain as they nestle behind it to watch the birds on the other side of the window.
  5. I love to see my dad's parrot, waiting for dad to wake up, watching over my him diligently.

  1. These are the things I like downstairs.
  2. These are the things I will focus on the rest of the day.
  3. I bet you anything, that the days to follow I will find more things I like downstairs.
Our Universe is magnetic. What ever it is you feel emotional about you will attract to yourself with great speed because your emotions are stronger than thought. Be as clear as possible in your thoughts today. Focus on the senses such as color, sound, the vivid imagery. This is our access into the creative consciousness of our Universe, in which anything is possible!
Your thoughts and the emotions behind those thoughts is your workshop, you are bringing the data you need into your existence, and thus attracting what you want, instead of what you don't want.
For an extra support tool I have included a short 6 minute video tutorial explaining more in depth how to go about creating your workshop today.
Follow your bliss, -tanya

Monday, May 25, 2009

Day 24: Be unpredictable Day! ;)

You know what I have been needing in a most serious manner?

To do something totally unpredictable. For me this is hard, if you happen to know me personally you would probably say something like, "You couldn't possibly do anything that would surprise me Tanya."

Looking back at some youtube videos I made in 2006- I absolutely have done some pretty unpredictable things and even documented them for all the world to see. lol

Going through such a nasty divorce these past two years, I realized through taking on this Law of Attraction challenge that I have been pretty typical. I let myself go physically, was an emotional wreak, and lost touch with my spirit. I gave up on myself and let people I trusted use, hurt and betray me. For a long ass time I didn't care about myself.

Well, guess what?

That is all in the past, and I most certainly did something totally unpredictable recently.
(The first night being free and officially divorced I was a little disruptive. But something good came out of it.)

I have always loved the flapper era. For as long as I can remember I wanted to look like a modern day flapper. So I went and did it! I cut off my hair, bleached it and started a brand new ME!

Here are my before and after pics for proof. lol

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Cutting and bleaching your hair might be too extreme for the three of you.
But, here is where your Day 24 LoA Challenge will really be a fun task:

Today... You need to DO something for YOURSELF that is unpredictable and something you have always wanted to do.
Today my dear friend, you have permission!

As an added support tool for this mission, I'm including that video I made back in 2006... I was feeling like a frumpy ol' housewife... so I did something Just for myself, and I didn't ask permission from ANYONE. Enjoy!

Please, let us all on what you decided to do for yourself, something peeps close to you had no idea you would go through with.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Day 23: Law of Attraction 30 Day Challenge: Nurse your spirit Day!

Day 23: Nurse your spirit Day!
What is funny is that I feel like even on bad days, because I have not given up on the law of attraction that the Universe is still working on my behalf. It offers me opportunities to get myself out of feeling bad. I am a paid blogger and freelance writer.
But I have kept this blog separate, as it is my personal journey.
However, today a Scrubs assignment popped up on my dashboard that inspired me.
It offered brilliant, straightforward tools to use on my journey, working with the Law of Attraction.
An assignment that I believe is a sign from the Universe, to help me and others to take better care of our spirits. So I am making it my and yours:
Day 23 Law of Attraction Challenge:
Today we are going to nurse our spirit.
In just a few minutes from now you will have two more support tools under your Law of Attraction belt. You will learn how to acknowledge and release pint up frustrations. You will learn simple recipes to care for your body, making you feel good inside and out that don’t cost you a penny.
Here my fellow co-creators are two inspiring articles written by nurses. Reading through these articles today, on a day when my ego was demanding me to feel bad, I found myself feeling uplifted, supported emotionally, and eager to make a body scrub from products I have in the kitchen cabinets. Simple yes, but keeping me present and feeling good on a day like today is profound.
The other side of Nurses.
The Gratitude Walk:
Learn simple tools to feel better emotionally right now!
The Beauty Stimulus Package:
Learn about various kitchen products already in the cupboards that you can use to look younger, feel better and healthier.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Blog Post's you might have missed:


Here my 3 readers are some blog post's you may have missed: have fun picking one that catches your eye and drop me a comment if you like. ;)
Using the Law of Attraction to lose weight.
Allowing your Vibrational Escrow.
Blog about someone who needs support day!

Maybe it IS OK to have a good cry and to feel bad over your dreams not coming true.
Something struck me last night; it was strong enough to cause me to doubt the magic of our Universe. It reeled in harsh criticism. I actually let it take a toll on me, believing that I am fragile and maybe a little crazy to be taking this challenge and documenting it for the entire world to see.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Day 22: LoA 30 Day Challenge: Bleep off EGO! I’m doing great!


Included at the end of this weight-loss blog post is a short video about how to use the law of attraction to lose weight.
I have not blogged about my weight loss since February 16th. I started my regimen on Feb 3. When I looked back this morning and noticed I have not gotten out of the 50’s in 3 months, now at 152. My ego started in on me, “You are a failure Tanya, you so should have been at your goal weight by now!”
For a hot second I started to feel emotional vibes attached to this personal comment to myself.
But you know what? I told ego: “Bleep off EGO! I’m doing great; I haven’t gained back any weight these past three months. This proves to me that I can maintain my weight and continue to lose more.” I turned these negative thoughts and feelings about my weight-loss goals into a positive! Furthermore, I looked in the mirror and saw a beautiful girl in front of me; I studied my profile and proclaimed, “Dam, you’re a hottie girlfriend, curves and ALL!”

Even though I may not be losing the weight as fast as my ego would like, I am losing at tremendous speed the negative thoughts and feelings about my body image. I am not covering up my flab as much, instead I am dressing myself up just to go to the grocery store and on a walk with my princess. I’m wearing skirts and heels. One day last week I was walking down town Ypsilanti on Michigan Ave and two fellows enjoying the sunny afternoon on their motorcycles smiled and waved at me. I did something I normally don’t do; I acknowledged them and smiled back.
So, my wee number of readers the point here is that YOU are doing great, and as long as you continue to feel good about your body right now in the present moment, you are attracting more weight loss by connecting to a positive universal vibration. Unlike when in our past, when we hated to look at ourselves in the mirror, and dreaded getting dressed up in fear of exposing our flab to the world- hence attracting higher numbers on the scale and much, much more negative feelings along with those high numbers.
If you are on the weight loss band wagon along with me, my advice is to “let go” baby. Use positive action to align and attract positive vibration into your life, by doing what makes you feel good. Focus less on the end result, leave what others say you must do OUT, and love yourself just the way you are right now. Instead of “working out”…. “Fun Out!” If it feels good, do it. If it makes you feel bad about yourself, STOP!” What worked in the past may not work now because you have changed.
So, for today your task is to explore new ways of feeling good about yourself.
For me, I feel good when I am hula hooping. I feel great dancing at the local bar. I feel fantastic taking a walk in the woods observing nature! I sure stay off the scale, and will only get on it when I feel a high vibration connecting me to our awesome Universe.
So you hot thang you, comment and let us all in on what makes YOU feel good as you continue to go from flab to fab, or what ever your personal goals may be! For me, I am losing weight and out of debt!

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