I tried everything to get my ex back!!!
... i cried for a year almost every day, or I drank myself to sleep or ate comfort food to escape. The pain of not letting go was sooo much stronger and devastating than accepting the separation and moving on. I was afraid, plain and simple. Scared to start my life over, "alone" uncertain about my future, and feeling rejected and unloved by the man I gave my heart to.
It's funny to me, because I started practicing the LoA a year prior to our breakup-
I also knew deep inside that it was a mistake to marry him in the first place, I knew the day before we wed. But I tricked myself into believing it would be wonderful, and focused my attention outward- I was more concerned with how others would see me, being married to a "wonderful" man. How happy they would be for me. lol
Needless to say, I kept on practicing the LOA- focus boards-etc before and during our marriage. Here is the "funny" part, our life together just got worse and worse- until finally, I ended up in a domestic violence shelter with our baby and a coffee can filled with change.
I kept my focus board with me during that time in my car- as I spent most of my free time in it while being homeless for 3 months in search of a new life. But I still grieved for our marriage and desperately wanted him back. Even though I knew in my heart I would never be happy under his conditions, I could never be a step-ford wife.
I spent an entire year focusing on HIM instead of myself. I even had a sta-sta-stutter for about 6 months. It was terribly embarrassing and I tried not to speak up, and limited my verbal reactions as much as possible! Through ALL of this, I still wanted him back!
The "funny" thing is that- I never gave up on the LOA even through all of this!
I started to understand something about myself through this- that I had dreams, interest's and passions that were about ME- independent of him or anyone else. I had something that was ALL mine! Interest's that gave me pleasure to explore, hobbies that turned into a healing regimen, and an undeniable devotion to living in the PRESENT- where I was most comfortable & relaxed... even though at times hard to accomplish- it was and IS satisfying to know if in deed I'm in the PRESENT or not!
I guess my point is that for me I learned the LOA.... has it's own unique map to manifestation, and even during the lowest points of my life, they are set up that way through the universe to get me ultimately to a place I long for. The pain, unhappiness, and hard lessons are not the universe being against me, but rather the Universe taking me on- to help manifest my desires. Sometimes that means I will experience terribly ugly situations, but I believe those situations are needed in order to get me to understand myself better. To understand how my reaction to events and situations determine if I am "present" or not.
I have gotten to a point now where my attention is focused on me and my inner happiness- instead of what I don't have in my present life. I am now free and independent- and with that comes clarity! This is something I would never have had in my life if the tragic end of our marriage never happened.
My new perspective is that I feel sorry for him- and hope one day before it's too late he might be happy living in the present himself. For me, the present moment is an ongoing love affair with myself- a place I can count on and learn from, and every now and then experiences of magic and dreams come true.
I hope this helps a little-
- ▼ October (3)
- ► 2009 (53)
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Sunday, October 19, 2008
This business of referrals and the GPT industry is soo not for everyone! I know for a fact you CAN make decent money online, but this industry is NOT for those who want to get rich quick or want to do minimal work for maximum cash payouts!
So if you don't want to spend the time doing research, like reading my blog for example- I recommend you find other ways, and if you do find a quick get rich program that cost's NO money to sign up then please, please email me cuz I want IN.
Now, if your the kind of person who is genuinely interested in growing your referral down-line and you don't mind spending 20 seconds doing a free offer/survey for around 50 cents profit 5-10 times a day, I highly recommend you read on...
What a great concept: Read and click their ads and make money doing it!
With the help of "RoboForm" a free down-loadable program, you can easily move through the surveys and offers at rapid speed!
Of Course there's the "pay for referrals" path, but why spend money when you don't have to?
Here is my advice:
1. Be excited about learning something new every day!
2. Nurture your referrals and your blogs...keep in contact with your referrals, let them know what is working and crediting for you. Ask them how they are doing, and if they have any questions.
3. Keep your blog active- make sure you include it in your email signature and routinely update the signature to let members know what is NEW over at your blog.
4. For Sure join the GPT Boycot forum.... and post away there! People are always wanting to know which sites to sign up at.
5. I can't express enough to have other content on your blog in addition to "making money online." I include articles (for example) like, "How to Get Free Stuff Online" including links. Then I post a link to that article on various classified sites like craigslist. Title: "Free 3lb bag of Cat Food."
And, woola... people click to get the bag of cat food, they check out my blog, and are signing up at the sites I'm affiliated with. The next thing I see is that my referral base is UP!!!
So, like I said it takes time... and most importantly you should be having fun at it!
If it's not fun for ya.... you won't be doing it for very long. So find ways to make it fun.... and set realistic goals.
I will write more about this in upcoming post's, so make sure you subscribe to my blog- and email me if you have any comments, suggestions, and/or questions.
Coming soon- I will be posting about, "The Law of Attraction".. and the tools I use to attract what I want in my present life- and how it has worked for me so far!
I'm really excited about this- been focusing a lot of my "real time" energy on it, and WOW.... how exceptionally fast it has been working for me.
Follow your bliss,
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
This year I have been wrapping up my new life! I'm so excited to be able to also wrap presents this year for my baby girl! After working online for the past six months I have found that I really love a few sites- gptcashcow, freegasmoneyonline, cashcrate and fairytaletreasures, so I have devoted my time to only these.
All the sites I have listed here are great and legit, I recommend trying out some and find the sites that are the best fit for you then devote your time to only a handful. All the companies listed have a variety of contest's in addition to making money by doing offers and surveys. When you devote your time to only a handful you have lots of chances to win extra money and prizes. This is especially true if your new because you have many more offers available to you to complete.
This Christmas make a goal for yourself to make an extra $250.00 online. It is so easy to do this- especially if your stuck at home most of the time anyway!