Women blog

Monday, April 30, 2012

All real change happens at once.

I'm sorry for being late on updating you with all the most wonderful magic happening in my little Universe.
Five years ago this August I went to the shelter with my baby girl. Today, I am officially a shopkeeper at an upscale boutique downtown Ann Arbor. The way it all came about is nothing more than pure luck, reaching out and never giving up.

My most wonderful problem today is trying to figure out how to explain to the public housing authority that someone like me, high potential but low income can own a shop on a busy street downtown with no money of my own.

I will fill the three of you in on the details next time. But, for now just know that whatever it is you want in your life really can come true, it takes effort but that's cumulative effort over the period of your life. So, it does not take that much effort if you stay present and ask or tell someone what your wishes are. And then you just take the most baby of steps towards your wishes. Always be grateful for what is presented to you. Be aware, and apologize when necessary. But don't overdo the apologizing, true friends will tell you there's no need for it.

Five years ago while in the shelter I told everyone, "I am a success story!"
Five years ago, I told my (now) wonderful 3rd and final husband I wanted music in my life again. Boy, do I ever have music.

I never knew what it felt like to win the proverbial lottery until now. For me, I have been crying tears of joy. But, just between us it's really tears of survival. What I learned so far after taking a major leap of faith and going after what I felt I deserved is that, yes I indeed deserve to be treated so much better. The Universe is giving me that treatment. Thank you.


P.S...    I say it's the Law of Attraction, but my Jesse Sinatra says, "It's the Law of Tanya's Attraction!"

Saturday, February 04, 2012

Multiple Personalities can be GOOD

12 August 2011
As my wonderful hubby and I took our walk this morning, I could not help but notice how much more vibrant the sky, trees, flowers, fountains, ponds and sounds of nature were!

We kept up a nice athletic stride, and reflected, laughed and reveled about our life together and last night’s SPECTACULAR evening!

We were invited as special guests to a Gala event.  It was the opening ceremony for the 33rd annual Ypsilanti Heritage Festival at the Yankee Air Museum.  What a place!

At least 300 people were there, photographers snapping shots of us, glass flutes of champagne pouring, dozens of caterers offering sophisticated hors d'oeuvres, new friends, dear friends, and even the mayor; (who ego wants to be acknowledged here) asked "me" if he could take my picture just before I was going to ask him!  hehe

As we walked along the pond, hubby and I were greeted by hearty bull frogs and riveting locusts vibrating through the trees. We have walked this path many times, but today was brand new. "How did we get here?"  Just 6 years ago I was a new mom, severely depressed, lonely, and could never had imagined how happy and wonderful my life is today.

Back then I was "Spygrrl", my online alter ego. When I could not take care of myself she would step in and take charge. She is the one who ultimately got me into the domestic violence shelter with my baby and out of a traumatic 2nd marriage.

But who got me "here"  today?

Unbeknownst to me, it was my long lost retired alter ego from 20 years ago, "Safety Girl”. She took over for me when I was a single teen mom. She created a business and eventually an underground cult show on public access T.V. for safer sex.

After the shelter, living out of my car and on friends couches with my baby girl and finally in a transitional apartment, living in the "meantime" while in a heated 4 year custody battle, "Ypsigirl" was born.

I became a pink haired, tutu wearing woman about town on public access T.V. who, eventually fell in love again and married "Safety Girl's" camera man, "Spygrrls" staunch loyal friend, my wedding singer, MY Jesse Sinatra.

Last night it wasn't Safety Girl at the gala, and it was not her walking with my new Sinatra singer husband, who crewed on Safety Girls show and sang at both of her previous weddings.

Today, yesterday, 6 years and 20 years ago it was "me", Tanya. The woman in front of all my alter egos who got us to this event. The woman who created  Spygrrl, Safety Girl, YpsiGirl, and my newest personality, who helped me shed 50lbs"Ms. Baggypants."

On today's walk, I learned that it IS MY "personality" that got me here. I have never felt more satisfied with all the choices I've made over the past 20 years. As Tom Robbins says “It’s never too late to have a happy childhood.” And to think, I say this living on a fixed income with my beautiful 5 year old daughter and dear sweet loving wedding singer Vietnam era veteran Husband!!! Last night was WONDERFUL, but waking up today next to Jesse was even better!

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Happy 2012 my Curious readers!!! I'm back.

After much thought, I decided why in the world would I want to retire this personal blog of mine? I kind of feel like Jay Leno. I thought being on a new chapter meant I needed to retire the “old” me. But since my last post, I have more exciting news and I feel compelled to nurture my baby blog, to share and continue from where I left off.

The Law of attraction has been very good to me. Looking back at previous posts through the years, I am just so amazed at how much I wanted to happen in my life actually has become MY reality!

I started this blog in 2008.

Back then, I was a WREAK! Depressed, heart broken, lost, 50lbs over weight and grieving my 2nd divorce. I was desperate to make some sort of a life for my one year old baby girl and myself.

Four years ago I decided to take on my own LoA challenge, and blog about it. I can honestly say It WORKS and keeps on working... even if you decide to retire your blog about it. (grin) The LoA does NOT rest.

So, I'm back because I want you to know that no matter where you are in life, you are a success story! I literally went from living in a shelter with my baby, no money, no job, going through a traumatic 4 year custody battle in which I had to endure horrific character assassinations in court- to getting back on television, winning awards, even the 2011 community spirit award through the city of Ann Arbor, MI (CTN) to where I am right now.

I have my own office cubical in a corporate business. And I get to do what I love and get paid for completed projects. I even get an advancement while I learn the ropes. It's small, but it is SOMETHING! I was offered a grand opportunity and I seized it! It might take time for the financial benefits to come into existence, but I can't help but to feel this overwhelming sense of being in the right place at the right time!

I am on the lookout for guest blog post's, contact me if you think my blog is a good fit.
Allow your Bliss,

Wednesday, August 03, 2011

It WORKS!!!!!

Here I am a year late in updating my blog. So many wonderful events have taken place. I am now on a new path, finally free of a traumatic 4 year court custody battle.

Justice has shown me that she does in fact exist, and on top of that I made it to my goal weight.
I lost 40 pounds and 20 inches off my body!!!

I am ever soo happily married to my Sinatra wedding singer- the one I've known for 17 years and who sang at both of my other weddings. ;)

We are in a passionate love affair.
I have the marriage I always dreamed of as a little girl.

Our life together is Loyal, Honest, and our Love is Unconditional.
Every day our life together is filled with Abundant Affection and Support in everything we do.

I can't tell you how good it feels to have a staunch ally who Stands Up for me, and treats me like his Queen. I come first, not second or third.
We accept each others weaknesses with love, there is no trying to "change" each other. How refreshing!

We have an award winning public access T.V. show.
Lots of press too.
A cozy two bedroom public housing apartment community with a pool, tennis court, parks, gardens, ducks and a pond with a fountain.

We are a part of a melting pot of beautiful families of all nationalities and religions living in peace together. There is no need to "keep up with the Jones's, or the Husian's, or the Browns." There is respect and compassion for each others lives and where we come from. Our children play together and we don't need to speak each others language to get along. I just LOVE it!

So what if "we" are low income. I'm not embarrassed. I have what a lot of rich people can't buy.

There is one particular memory that has vividly stayed with me since I was 5 years old, playing with my barbies. Ken and Barbie were getting hitched. My extremely vocal Aunt was in the room and told me:
"It's just as easy to marry a rich man as it is a poor one." 

I stood my ground with her, saying:
"It has to do with being in love not rich. I would marry a poor man for love instead of a rich man for money!"  This coming from a 5 year old. ;)

Not a day goes by that we are not verbally grateful to be living life together so happy and in love. We consider our lives as living in abundance, rich and successful no matter what challenges might come our way. We know together we will get through it as long as we stay present.

This blog is now retired. I am beginning a new one that will incorporate many of the ideals I have shared about here into my new business called:

Ms. Baggypants... "Surprise It's Me!"
A motivational based weight-loss program that incorporates the law of attraction, connecting with the universe, and reinventing your life for the better spiritually.

Ms. Baggypants has been a dream of mine for 6 years. I am proud to announce she is finally out of my head and online. ;) I am busy working on her approach and program.

It is my #1 goal to make her available to ALL women who want to reinvent their lives regardless of economics. In the upcoming months clients will be able to have weekly in person consultations including materials that will help to support their goals. A sliding scale fee will be available to those who have the spirit and live low income.

Friday, June 18, 2010

Catch the latest buzz!

It is truly amazing how the Universe works for us as long as we LET it. I know I have been absent over here but that sure does not mean I've been lazy or given up. Here is a little recap on what has been happening in my neck of the woods- I have to make it short today but I promise I'll be back to explain more in detail soon.

Two months ago my little princess and I hitched a ride on a vibrational match to a home of our own with my love, Jesse. She now has her own room and it's painted like a fairy tale setting. We have some woods in our back yard with sooo many different birds and butterflies. We even have a nice swimming pool in the complex. I worked hard at getting us in here, it's public housing and the wait list was two years. I even got denied at first due to such bad credit, but I sent the property owners a heartfelt letter explaining our situation and why my credit was so horrible.

They "accepted me" and put us on the list! Finally, my honesty worked for us. lol

Jesse and I have been busy filming in our community for my public access television show and we even got some great press about our work here:

Oh... I've lost 23 pounds too. ;)

There is soo much more I am excited to share... but right now my little princess wants us to go outside and paint.

Have a wonderful day and let's meet up again soon in the near present moment.


Sunday, November 29, 2009

Inches lost instead of pounds Day 9


I have decided to stay off the scale after working out every day and watching my diet for 8 days now. My personal daily goal is to get in at least 10,000 steps on my mini trampoline while using hand and ankle weights-

It has been so rewarding to actually watch my steps increase every day, starting at 6,000 in an hour and finishing with more than 15,000 in just over an hour. But my scale says I have put on weight, which makes me want to give up.

But my man "Prince" is always in the back of my mind, singing (Pop Daddy)

"When you think about giving up is when you need to be trying"

So, instead of giving up I will get bouncing- and maybe even make my goal of 20,000 steps in a day. And thank god for measuring tape- Since July I have lost 4 in a half inches off my body- Even though a huge part of me says it should be more by now, someone else inside is saying, "Girlfriend, that is better than gaining or not losing any inches at all.

Tuesday, September 08, 2009

Storage Smile's

A week ago I gave up my packed storage unit for a few bones.
Days following were hard for me; I began to see some personal belongings showing up on craigslist.
For several days I felt anxious and uncertain about this decision.
“what if” moments crept into my thoughts.
What if I left something behind that I wish I would not have?”
“What if something was worth a lot of money?”
“What if…this and what if that?”
You know what? There are no more “What ifs”.
By unloading twenty years of my past I am now at a point where I feel anything is possible.
Starting over is not easy after divorce. It has taken me two years to finally feel free and to embrace the beauty and magic of letting go of my past while at the same time starting my life over from scratch.
Not knowing what is going to happen next. Not owning a home or material possessions. Not knowing how I will survive financially next month. Not knowing what job interview will be “the one”…
For some odd reason, I’m ok with all the not knowing-
What I know for sure is so much more pungent- Like the stench of Limburger cheese.
I know by the smell of it that it will taste horrible, but there is excitement in finding out, my curiosity with not knowing forces me to sink in and see for myself.
There is something hidden under that wrapper, something that I have never before experienced, and no matter how bad it stinks I will live to tell about it.
So I take the plunge, let go of my fears and to my surprise I find that I have more experience, more wisdom, and more lessons in my life than ever before-
I’m indeed living to tell about it, and it’s pungently priceless… a taste of emotional freedom.
Heavy burdens lifted, my present moment is not getting to the finish line, and I have nothing holding me back anymore.
All I have now is an overwhelming sense of how exciting it is to not know, and leave it at that!

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